So not even two years later I found myself back in the same place where I was unsatisfied with perms and wanted to try something different. BUT I wanted to look styled and not like Mfufu (sorry).
Also, and this is very important, I felt compelled to go natural, because the underground "grassroots" natural hair movement that makes it all seem so easy and insists that this is the only right way for black hair had gotten to me. I felt like a traitor to my blackness for seeking the easy way out...almost like I was suicidal with the lye! Each time I stood before the mirror applying Motions to my new growth I felt inadequate because I lacked the fortitude to make this work.
So, in early 2006, I cut the perm out of my hair and embarked upon the natural hair path AGAIN. Each time I have to comb my hair I wonder what the heck am I trying to do and I wonder if will I ever look "coifed" again. I can make it look passable around the house (God bless my husband for never commenting), but not outside in public.
Let's be clear, I do not hate myself or my hair, or being black or anything crazy like that. It's just a nuisance. What I need from my Sistren is not recrimminations, but self-help group style support and encouragement to stay this path so that I too can see the benefits of going natural. I've been perming for many years and as most of know, that's a HARD habit to kick.
Maybe this is just a pain in the neck until my hair reaches shoulder length. I just don't know. I'd appreciate any product suggestions that have an impact on super kinky, super thick, Extra course, tight hair. What are my styling options? HELP! Just to save some time I've tried Ms. Jessie's buttercreme/curly pudding, and most hair moisturizing cremes. They just make my hair look ashy. Right now I use Dax for oiling and Vigorol's beeswax for twists.
Talk at me~
From The Sistah writing this blog from home after 9pm who is still wearing her wig. OK...I'll go take it off. Dang!
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